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| Well, this will most likely be my final blog for a long, long time, as my travels around the world are set to begin in earnest this friday. I will be taking on Mexico, Peru, South Korea, Japan, and Costa Rica, and will probably limit my online time to emails rather than to blogs. But I wanted to send off my loyal readers (however few of you there are!) with something to smile about. Leaving the office today was tough, but I didn't cry. I'm sure I will on Friday when I am leaving, possibly tomorrow when I see the kids for the last time. It's funny how you aren't sure why you do what you do, but in the end you just look at people you love and it all makes sense. I was putting away pictures today of some of my kids, and then the year just made sense. It was worth it just to love those kids. I am leaving many things I care about, but I do hope I will get the opportunity to return to the Jacksonville Beaches. . .I would consider it quite the blessing to resume the friendships I have begun this year and to continue the work that I have done. But since I may have little control over that future, I'll make my peace with just this year and see where the road leads. Time is my most precious commodity, and I feel blessed far beyond what I deserve for what I got to be a part of this year. Now more than ever my life is chaotic. I have little money, I am living out of suitcases, almost all of my beliefs are murky, and my future seems darker than ever. But I trust God more than ever before, and I have hope. There is a joyful ending to this story somewhere on the horizon. And now I will waste no more of your time with my words, but leave you with a few favorite quotes to send you on your way! For all my boys: Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Where ever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home For all the wanderers: Ithaca gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean. For all in the struggle: "At the end of the day, One shall stand, One shall fall." - Optimus Prime For the world: "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys the field. " - Jesus | | |
| So here we are, twenty minutes to go on my last full day in the office. Many of you out there probably fear this will turn into a reflection of what this year meant to me. . .not a chance in Hell! I have a lot of feelings about this year, and I'm not even going to get into here except to say that it was the most difficult and the most meaningful year of my life.
I mentioned last week that I had once again renewed my commitment to the philosophy of dualism and said that I would hash that out a little more. What I meant was that I believe people have a choice to either give/sustain life or destroy it. It's not my job to define what that means for others, only for myself, and it's my responsibility to be on the right side as much as possible. Neutrality is generally cowardice, or really the struggle of conscience vs. sacrifice. A man's conscience can keep him from being completely bad, but fear of sacrifice (or laziness) prevents him from being truly good. Of course the only way I can be dualistic and realistic is to be theistic (nice rhythm, eh?), in other words, the only way to claim dualism and not despair is to believe God will be victorious in the end (i.e. redeem the world). This is really the only faith that matters in the end, and acting on it means going against the pull of society. But why act on it if I cannot set it right (that being God's job)? I choose to because I have felt redemption myself. Joy begets joy. I have no other way to explain it and be genuine. . .words usually ring hollow on this subject when it comes down to it.
Anyhow, please turn in tomorrow for my last blog, I promise you won't be disappointed.
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| That's right folks. This is it, the final Friday Quote day ever, because this is my last Friday of work. So I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, don't fret too much, I'm sure on my last day in the office I'll pull out an extra special quote to go out on. Today we feature my favorite philosopher (Rousseau), one of my favorite poets (Blake), and one of my favorite Bible passages. They will be in the aforementioned order.
"I foresee that I shall not readily be forgiven for having taken
up the position I have adopted. Setting myself up against all that is
nowadays most admired, I can expect no less than a universal outcry
against me: nor is the approbation of a few sensible men enough to make
me count on that of the public. But I have taken my stand, and I shall
be at no pains to please either intellectuals or men of the world.
There are in all ages men born to be in bondage to the opinions of the
society in which they live. There are not a few, who to-day play the
freethinker and the philosopher, who would, if they had lived in the
time of the League, have been no more than fanatics. No author, who has
a mind to outlive his own age, should write for such readers."
JERUSALEM (from 'Milton')
by: William Blake (1757-1827)
 ND did
those feet in ancient time
- Walk upon England's mountains green?
- And was the holy Lamb of God
- On England's pleasant pastures seen?
-
- And did the Countenance Divine
- Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
- And was Jerusalem builded here
- Among these dark Satanic Mills?
-
- Bring me my bow of burning gold!
- Bring me my arrows of desire!
- Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
- Bring me my chariot of fire!
-
- I will not cease from mental fight,
- Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
- Till we have built Jerusalem
- In England's green and pleasant land.
Isaiah 40: 6-9
6 A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. 7 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass. 8 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever." 9 You who bring good tidings to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, [c]
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
"Here is your God!"
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| After much deliberation, my plans for next year are set: I'm moving to Costa Rica. I will be helping to set up a mission some friends who volunteer at Habitat are starting. They will be working with Nicaraguan refugees, who are extremely impoverished. I will be translating, teaching english, laying cement floors, and not sure what else beyond that.
Am I qualified to do this? Absolutely not. And why am I doing this? My best answer is, why not?
I don't know what I can do to help Nicaraguan refugees. Maybe there's really nothing that I can do. But someone asked if I wanted to part of a worthwhile project, and I've found in the past that more often than not just being somewhere is more important than what you can do. So that's what I'm doing. I'm just going to Costa Rica to be with these people. I'll do my best with everything else.
In the past I would have had huge expectations, but feeling like a failure at the end of the year for the last two years has taken that out of me. Funny thing is, all that failure is liberating. I used to feel so much pressure going into things like this, because I really thought I would/could be the difference. Those days are long gone! I have close to zero expectations. I just know that going is the right thing, and as I have become quite the dualist again (perhaps more on that next week), it's really the only important part of the equation. I'll simply face questions one at a time and see where the road leads.
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| I'm feeling particularly nostalgic this afternoon, so my quotes will evoke childhood joys, when summer was not a time to sit in the office and wonder what the hell would become of me in three weeks, but rather a time to strive for athletic glory and dream about my future adventures.
There are few movies that capture this hope like "The Sandlot".
"The Babe":
Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die.
"The Babe":
Let me tell you something kid; Everybody gets one chance to do
something great. Most people never take the chance, either because
they're too scared, or they don't recognize it when it spits on their
shoes.
Ham Porter:
Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?
Smalls:
Some more of what?
Ham Porter:
No, do you wanna s'more?
Smalls:
I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter:
You're killing me Smalls! These are s'more's stuff! Alrite now pay
attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the
graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallows flaming... you
stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you
stuff it! Kind of nasty, but good!
Smalls:
I was gonna put the ball back.
Squints:
But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls:
Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
Ham Porter:
WHAT? WHAT?
Kenny:
The sultan of swat!
Bertram:
The king of crash!
Timmy:
The colossus of clout!
Tommy:
The colossus of clout!
All:
BABE RUTH!
Ham Porter:
THE GREAT BAMBINO!
Smalls:
Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?
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